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I'm Javonne Crumby, creator of Lesbionyx-- A space for queer women of color. As a Black woman who loves women, I grew tired of the lack of representation and resources for women like me. So I created a platform for us and by us, because no one tells our stories like us! 

5 Ways To Reclaim Your Life When You're at A Standstill

5 Ways To Reclaim Your Life When You're at A Standstill

Let’s face it, life can be draining. It can leave you feeling unfulfilled, apathetic and itching for a change. I know the feeling all too well. I have started to feel like my life needs some remedies to get on a better path. So over the past two months, I have done 5 little things that are changing my life in a drastic way. Here are 5 things you can do to put you on a path to reclaiming your life. 


1. Taking a Social Media Hiatus:

Lately, I have been finding myself getting very upset every time I went on Facebook. It wasn’t the people I followed (or friended) but the constant cyber debates in the comments got to be exhausting. Joy rarely sees the light of day in the comments section. Instead I see judgement, disrespect and downright bitterness. People can never enjoy the little things like a funny video of a baby dancing gets turned into “bad parenting” comments. Or an article about another social injustice is accompanied by vile comments blaming the victim. I’ve been noticing after closing Facebook that my mood was noticeably worse. I know the political climate in the U.S. is quite the shit storm, but I hate that it’s infiltrated spaces that I once used to escape. Solution? For the first time in 8 years since having my account, I deactivated my Facebook. The only social media I am active on at the moment is Instagram. My personal Instagram is mostly people I know, so it’s not like I am missing any life-changing announcements. We all know, when you get good news you spread the joy on EVERY account you own (just in case someone missed it). Aside from following friends and family, I recommend following people who inspire you. These can be fitness models promoting a healthy lifestyle (not waist trainers and flat tummy tea), philanthropists you look up to, or simply people who make you laugh. I cannot get enough of Just Livin Baby @jstlbby her videos are motivating and funny as hell!


2. Working It Out:

I am on a personal quest to get some #gains going. That’s right, I want the numbers on the scale to go up every time I step on. So, I have been changing up my diet and getting in some resistance training. I’ve noticed my mood is so much better after a workout. Shout out to endorphins for doing their thing! The best part about working out (once you muster up the energy to do it) is it’s FREE! I’m not financially secure enough to add a gym membership to my monthly expenses right now, so YouTube has really helped me make that extra push. In the last month I’ve subscribed to some YouTubers with amazing workouts. Right now, I’m loving BodiBiDay (Body By Day) she works out with you and has some amazing ab and booty work outs. I ain’t mad at it! Working out is one of those things that can feel like a chore, but there are so many ways we can work out that can make it fun. Playing basketball, swimming, dancing, there is always something you can do to transform your mood and physique!

Daysha aka BodiBiDay Photo Credit: Pinterest 

Daysha aka BodiBiDay Photo Credit: Pinterest 


3. Being Mindful of What You Eat:

One of the hardest things about life is feeling like you have no control. I have been feeling this way a lot lately, so for the month of March I took control of my diet. I cut meat out from my diet entirely and had a blast finding vegetarian/vegan dishes to try. My favorite dish I tried was BBQ “pulled pork” jackfruit sliders. I couldn’t believe the texture of the jackfruit and how easily it can be mistaken for meat! This wasn’t a “diet” in the sense of eating to lose weight (as we established in #2 I’m all about the gains!) I took this as a chance to not only cleanse my body, but to cleanse my mind. I found some YouTubers that made it possible to get creative with my meals and not get bored. Shout out to Sweet Potato Soul, you should seriously check her out! I am not here to push any dietary agenda on you, eat what you want (in moderation of course). However a lot of the things we put in our bodies are highly processed and treated with hormones and aren't the best way to nourish our bodies. If you haven't been feeling well physically and emotionally, your diet could be to blame. Try to incorporate foods that will improve your health (or cut out foods that don't). The changes can work wonders. 


Jenne Claiborne AKA Sweet Potato Soul Photo Credit:  Well and Good

Jenne Claiborne AKA Sweet Potato Soul Photo Credit: Well and Good

4. Dream Big:

I am at “such an amazing time in my life” as my mom keeps reminding me. Next month I will (finally) earn my Bachelor’s degree in Journalism. While I am proud of my accomplishment, I want more. I want to live a fulfilling life doing things that open my mind to things I never get to experience. So I am planning to venture out and travel solo! The travel bug bit me… hard. So, I have been spending the last few weeks researching like crazy, the best (and cheapest) ways I can go abroad. The top two countries I want to explore are Thailand and Colombia. What are the odds that the US Dollar stretches farther in these countries? Win! I really want to explore these cultures and stay long enough to embrace their way of living.

On my research quest, I found a Black woman from the U.S. who now lives in Colombia, Chanelle Adams. Her vlogs have inspired me to see the Colombian cities of Medellin, Cali, and Cartagena. She is very candid in her experience and her interaction with the locals. I’ve also found this GEM of a website that has volunteer and work opportunities abroad! A lot of these programs don’t require a degree and will even provide you with accommodation! As a travel virgin, I am excited about the possibilities and opportunities that lay ahead. Tomorrow is not promised, and I don’t want to live a life of perpetual “one days”. Neither should you. If you are feeling like you are in a rut, (or tired of the BS in America) a trip outside of the country might be what your soul needs.

Photo Credit:   Black Girls Travel Too


5. Learn A New Language:

Right now, I am teaching myself Spanish. I took classes in High School and my earlier college years, but as the saying goes: If you don’t use it, you lose it! That’s exactly what happened to me. I was never fluent in español but I was much better in years past, because I was using it more frequently. I live in Los Angeles and Spanish is the second most spoken language here (being that we’re so close to Mexico). I want to be bilingual so I can connect with more people (and get paid more… hello!) So, I have gone in total immersion mode. My iPhone settings are in Spanish and so are all of my apps including Google Maps! It was a bit intimidating at first, but this is such an easy (and free) way to learn another language. Most of us spend a lot of time on our phones anyway, so why not learn a new language while you gusta that cute girls photo on IG? I also started listening to the Latin Pop playlists on Apple Music that are updated weekly so my playlist never gets stale. I’m currently obsessed with Karol G’s song Pineapple

Of course no self-taught language learning is complete without TV shows, so I’ve found amazing Spanish speaking shows on Netflix (that aren’t cheesy telenovelas). I just finished season one of Ingobernable listen… even if you aren’t trying to learn Spanish you should watch, it’s THAT good! I challenged myself by watching the show with Spanish subtitles instead of English, so I would actually listen to what was being said. Although, I may not have understood 100% of the dialogue, the actions on-screen filled in the blanks. I even downloaded a language exchange app called Tandem, which allows you to chat with users who want to practice English while you can learn their language. It’s not free but it’s worth being able to speak with someone with no pressure if you mess up and just practice! Learning another language is a great way to expand your mind and can open doors to a world you never knew existed. Spanish Netflix FTW!


What are some ways you have tried to reclaim your life? Leave a comment below!


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