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Hey Girl Hey! 

I'm Javonne Crumby, creator of Lesbionyx-- A space for queer women of color. As a Black woman who loves women, I grew tired of the lack of representation and resources for women like me. So I created a platform for us and by us, because no one tells our stories like us! 

Coffins, Seeds & Blooming Into Your Best Self In 2019

Coffins, Seeds & Blooming Into Your Best Self In 2019

Every New Year I followed the same routine. I made vision boards out of clippings from old magazines I looked at once when the glue first dried. I went religiously to the gym for the first weeks then never again until the pudge returned around my mid-section. I made lists I rarely revisited and little to nothing transitioned in my life. Eventually I realized my cyclic tradition would never really yield any major results since I never made sustainable or substantial changes in my next set of 365 days. I think that was due in part to my lack of vision, commitment and SMART goal setting.

Photo via:  Hydrate Marketing

I seemed to be sleepwalking through life instead of intentionally drawing lessons from reoccurring mistakes I was making. Then one year I found myself at a New Years Eve service that forever changed my New Years tendencies. A lot of that service was alarming from the female pastor emerging out of a congregation constructed cave like she was Christ rising on the third day to folks catching the spirit and splitting their skirts in the process! It was quite the black church enigma, but I left knowing exactly what I needed to do to make my to do list more than just a note on my phone. Apart from the dramatics, the philosophy shared on that day changed my mindset and practice of each new season I enter. Whether you still own your church hat or traded it out for chakra stones, you can draw something from the message.

The words shared revolved around the theme that dead bodies go through the same process as seedlings but produce starkly different results. Both go into the ground for extended periods of time but when you return the planted seed will blossom while the grave will ever adjust. This epiphany lead me to further self-reflection. What in my life was a seed that I was seeing as an epitaph? This unearthed an even bigger question. Were there aspects I thought were dead grave sites something that I could be watering and nurturing to grow?

 Each year we have a finite number of seconds, minutes, hours, days, and months we can facilitate change in our lives and others that surround us. With limited energy to give, we must make sure we are spending our time wisely and focusing on the living things that can give us an opportunity to thrive and not holding too tightly to things we’d be better off letting pass on.

I thought about how I wanted to spend less time in black mourning and more time with a green thumb growing.

If you are still tilling the soil metaphorically at the cemetery of your failed relationship, you cannot engage with the budding new romance that needs your attention. If you are working out the kinks of a business proposal you have set down roots with, you may not see fruit until years after you planted the sapling but eventually you will. You deny yourself that opportunity when you are too busy mourning and wearing all black about past failed projects.

 

Do yourself a favor and choose to BLOOM this season:

Build a list of all the seeds (nourishing) and coffins (detrimental) in aspects of your life:

Seeds: podcasting, painting, research project

Coffins: entertaining toxic friends, living in the closet, self-doubt

List the identified aspects in categories such as love life, professional, self-care, health

Seeds: exercising regularly, healthy breakfast every morning 

Coffins: stress-eating

Organize the items of most importance in your categories:

Try a three-tier approach (little importance, average, high importance)

 

Owning accountability about things we should give and withhold attention from. Set numeric goals and revisit meeting them.

Seed: I will work on a business plan twice a week for 30 mins

Coffin: I will stop using social media more than 6 hours a week

Mark your calendar on which days you plan to revisit your progress or need to re-frame how to look at certain endeavors.

Revisit your seeds and coffin plan every two months to check on making goals more realistic or pushing yourself to meet them.

One of the biggest reasons this plan enabled me to be so successful is because it’s less about creating new components to an already hectic lifestyle and more about shifting energies and cutting time in some areas to lend to others.

Remember this year is about removing the weeds in order to grow exponentially.

Those experiences existed to enable you to BLOOM!

Let Go and Let Grow: Why I Left the Church

Let Go and Let Grow: Why I Left the Church