It's Pretty Much Just Scissoring Right? [NSFW]
This question never gets old (hard eye roll). I mean really people, an imagination and cursory Google search are all you need to answer this question. And yet, since ... the beginning of time I suppose, cishet folks (mostly) continue to ask this question, assuming that sex between lez lovers is simply this and the other thing... you know the one we do with our mouths. Whether you are a curious experimenter, baby dyke, or late bloomer you may also be thinking that scissoring, basically equals lesbian sex because that is when the genitalia of both women comes together. However, sexual contact happens in a myriad of ways and while scissoring does seem to be a pillar of sexual interactions between women, it is NOT the only thing women are doing with each other.
Depending on who you ask and when, scissoring may or may not even be a thing that lesbians do. On Season 5 of Orange Is The New Black, there’s a flashback scene of a young Poussey and her girlfriend, Franziska, unsuccessfully trying a scissor maneuver to which she responds “I told you it wasn’t a thing.” Comb the internet and you are likely to find equal amounts of porn, pop culture references, and lesbian commentary on the subject. While some lesbians joke that it’s not really a thing that we do… I assure you, it is a thing, a very real thing. One of the things, I was most excited to do because I certainly thought, “that’s how girls/women do it.” It was awkward as hell in the beginning because I had no idea what I was doing, how to work with my body (and this was when I was half my current size, weight, and age) and there were body fluids. What ensued was mostly just some messy leg humping and grinding that created enough friction to start a small forest fire. My forest was certainly ablaze after all the rubbing, even though our lady parts probably only touched 50% of the time and that’s a generous estimate.
While rubbing up against each other’s legs was messy and fun after some practice I was finally able to achieve the Holy Grail of Scissoring and get my vagina right on top of hers so that our clitorises actually rubbed up against each other. And BOOM, just like that I was a scissoring pro (at twice the size and age of when I first started.)
I think it’s important to know here that scissoring and all sex is about body confidence and feeling comfortable in your skin, your sexuality, your level of inhibition or freedom, and with your partner. No stranger to the art of Sapphic copulation, I would venture to say, while scissoring is definitely part of the trifecta of go to moves for lady lovers (with mutual masturbation running a close second), it is not the honey pot at the end of the rainbow. In fact, there is more. WAAAAAAAY More!
Yes, that’s right! You may notice that some of these moves are variations on the same theme; oral, fingering and grinding or combinations, go with it! Whether these moves are already in your repertoire or you find something here that you’d like to try (you’re welcome) I hope you will take some time to explore the range of activities that can happen when two bodies decide to come together and enjoy intimate, sexual contact.
(Make sure too that you have the GUTS before proceeding)
1. The Classic Girl on Girl Combo: Ask your partner (or you know guide her) to lie down on her back, perform cunnilingus (paying extra attention to stimulating the clitoris always pay attention to the small, extra-sensitive organ, specifically designed for pleasure). While you are stimulating her love button with your tongue and mouth, penetrate her with a finger(s). This position maximizes pleasure by providing clitoral and vaginal stimulation, at the same damn time.
2. Put It on Your Taste Buds: Yes, this is oral. More specifically, this is the one where one of you takes the seated position on the face of the other. To saddle up for this, one of you will lay on your back and the other will kneel over your partner’s shoulders. The person laying on their back may support their head and neck with a pillow, or use a pillow behind their head to change the angle. The person on top has lots of control! You can control the placement of your partner’s tongue, the speed, and pressure… all without saying a word.
3. 69 Girls: Ah! The 69! Yes, you can both please each other simultaneously. For this position you will face head to toe with you lover, so that you face is in her place and her face is in yours. There are a couple of ways to successfully pull off this position…
a. Put It On Her Tastebuds, but in reverse… yep, back that ass up and put your yoni on her lips, then lower you lips to her sweet spot, BOOM! mutual oral pleasure.
b. Again you’ll be head to toe with your partner, but in this version, you’re facing each other’s lady parts while laying on your sides. You can even lay your heads on each other’s thighs. Oh and thigh meat makes the best pillow!
4. Back Dat Ass Up: This position will require hardware, yep you’ll be going to your toy box and bringing out a friend for her toy box, unless you stay strapped. For this position you’ll both be on all fours, the person with the equipment will be in the rear. This position provides an opportunity for some combo work as well, the one of you who will be penetrating from behind and stimulating the vagina can also reach around and finger the clit of the lover in front. And if you don’t have a toy box, no worries… success in this position can also come from using the tools you have at hand (you see what I did there). That’s right, you can grind from behind and insert a finger(s) to your lover’s desire.
5. Scissoring: Of course, I wasn’t going to skip over this classic move! Yes, scissoring is a thing… but the pleasure that comes from rubbing the most sensitive parts of our bodies together doesn’t begin and end with locking legs and brushing up against one another. Other variations of this include riding, where one partner straddles the other while they sit or lie down. Adjust your bodies so that the vulvas match up, throw in some ass grabbing for traction and to pull your lover close for some feel-good fun and intimate connection. Another option, is straddling the thigh of your lover and sliding one leg between theirs. Then place your vagina on top of your partner's. It takes some work and it helps to be flexible, but once you find your spot and your rhythm, you can both move in the way that gives you the most mutual pleasure.
Well there it is, myth debunked. Happy humping, lady lovers!