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Hey Girl Hey! 

I'm Javonne Crumby, creator of Lesbionyx-- A space for queer women of color. As a Black woman who loves women, I grew tired of the lack of representation and resources for women like me. So I created a platform for us and by us, because no one tells our stories like us! 

It's Time to Stop Idolizing Others Relationships

It's Time to Stop Idolizing Others Relationships

Last week was a tough one for supporters of the YouTube famous couple Domo and Crissy, who announced their breakup. Domo and Crissy are known for their YouTube channels chronicling their relationship as a couple and parenting their 1 year old son Domonic. Last Thursday the two posted a 31-minute video to their joint YouTube channel (that has over 3 million subscribers) explaining the split and their future plans. The video has already garnered over 4 million views. “I want y’all to know everything that you’ve seen on videos, all that-- it was real nothing was fake” said Domo. The majority of the video was a way to clear the air of any misunderstanding. “I don’t want y’all to think this was something overnight. We really tried”, Domo explained. Crissy also cleared any suspicions of infidelity, “None of us did anything wrong for us to break up. Domo’s a really good person and she was a good girlfriend and fiancée.” The two ultimately decided the romantic spark is no longer there and they are better off as friends.

 Still from Domo and Crissy's breakup video.

Still from Domo and Crissy's breakup video.

With so many eyes looking at this couple, it should come as no surprise that their supporters were heartbroken by the news. With comments disabled from their YouTube video (and 15k thumbs down) people took to their joint Instagram to voice their disappointment:

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There is nothing wrong with celebrating love and wanting the best for someone else’s relationship. Yet, the line can get blurry as to what is simply support, and what is idolization. On the one hand, there are die-hard supporters who look at couples in the public eye as inspiration or #relationshipgoals. On the other hand, we have these couples who put their relationship on display for the world to see. Domo and Crissy, like many other YouTube couples, were able to monetize their relationship. This undoubtedly made the decision to split difficult. In the video Crissy says, “We’re risking so much right now”. Domo adds, “We have sponsorships, a million dollar YouTube channel, we’re giving it all up.” She also defends their integrity, “We’re never ever gonna stay together for a check.” Knowing that they are willing to forego a major source of income from their joint YouTube platform, speaks volumes. Instead they are choosing to focus on themselves and growing as individuals, something we should all do.

 Still from Domo and Crissy's breakup video

Still from Domo and Crissy's breakup video

It is understandable to be inspired by couples, especially couples that represent marginalized communities. It makes us feel like love is possible for us and we can have beautiful relationships. However, relationships are more than cute Instagram posts and video montages. They take time, compromise, patience and communication. It is easy for us as spectators to get caught up in the highlight reel of someone else’s life, but we must remind ourselves that we only see what others want us to see. Towards the end of the video Domo expands on this idea. “Don’t look up to other couples. Make your own goals because everything is not what it seems. We were genuine in our relationship, I’m just saying everyone has problems.”

“Don’t look up to other couples. Make your own goals because everything is not what it seems.”
— Domo Wilson

While some may argue that their relationship wasn’t genuine, it isn’t easy to be a couple that people are putting on a pedestal. Maybe they felt, they owed it to their millions of supporters to give them hope and keep their platform as a place of positivity. It isn’t easy airing out your dirty laundry for others to judge. When we put anything about our lives online, we lose control of the narrative. Can we fault them for wanting to work out their issues in private instead of getting millions of people involved? 


What do you think about YouTube channels and social media accounts surrounding a relationship? Leave a comment below. 

Girl on Girl Talk Part III

Girl on Girl Talk Part III