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Hey Girl Hey! 

I'm Javonne Crumby, creator of Lesbionyx-- A space for queer women of color. As a Black woman who loves women, I grew tired of the lack of representation and resources for women like me. So I created a platform for us and by us, because no one tells our stories like us! 

Words Spoken by Mariah Barber [Press Play]

Words Spoken by Mariah Barber [Press Play]

“Nicotine”

About last night…….

being with you was

like kissing an ashtray

on the forehead every

morning before

breakfast  

 

it was messy  

& disgusting & perplexing

& so far from my routine  

& so beautiful

& risky

& jaw dropping

& maybe detrimental

but only in the most loving way

 

deep down I always knew

you were never supposed to make it

onto

my to do list

 

but sometimes

somehow when the sun

finds my eyes open

and confronts them

for cheating with the moon

again

it finds you shipwrecked

among the rubble around my irises

lost among

the passion & sweat & smiles & bites & bed

 

since the first night

 

I have seen your cigarette

bud fingerprints

leaving their marks

on my asthmatic heart

 

I know if I let this

It could easily

Kill me

 

but

 

you can make me

 

feel sexier than

breathing

can

So I give in

again

to your nicotine

 

Excerpt from Of Mics & Pens & Gods & Other College Courses


“Fuck Butterflies”

Forget the butterflies

In my stomach,  I feel pterodactyl wings

Flapping harder every time

Your thighs rub together

Right to left

Your hair and hips swing on the playground where our eyes play freeze tag

And you’re it but I want you to catch me

I want you to bury me in your love

And lavish in your beauty all day

The way I imagine your honey brown skin would soak in the sun on a beach

Boy do I need a vacation!

Because my mind has been hard at work racing like a full-time job

I hope you're happy with my work it will consider me for a promotion because with me as the CEO I just know we can make millions

Still with all the money in the world won’t hold a candle to that million-dollar smile God somehow entrusted you to possess

Maybe its payment for when he clipped your wings and placed your feet on solid ground

in this world, you are my world

So why don’t you walk my way

The way you do in my dreams where Frank Ocean reads my mind and sings out your soundtrack played on my heart strings as you pull on them

Like the harp too must have used to play in the clouds

I empathize how the dinosaurs felt when their era was ending

because when your hand brushes up against mine , comets hit the earth

Although that extinction thing must have been bullshit

Because I know at least one dinosaur that still lives inside me

And comes back to life each time I breathe you in

So, when you ask me if you give me butterflies I say no

Butterflies don’t do you justice

You give feelings back to the fossils

I thought died in me long ago

Excerpt from Of Mics & Pens & Gods & Other College Courses


A.A. Tips for Dating the Drunkards Daughter

When I Ieft her and told her it was over,  it was over

It was the first straight line I had walked in three months

 

You should know when you date the town drunks’ daughter what they will never tell you

 

Her hair and skin and hands will be as wild black soft and bitter as freshly crushed grapes between toes from Martha's Vineyard

 

Her lips will taste of birthday cake vodka, begging you to be drunk any merry in their embrace

 

And she, she will leave your sheets smelling of shot glass spilling over with shame yet trying their best to hold on to the memories of the nights prior

 

Her body will be made of coke glass figure but full of toxins

Glass embedded in her heels from all the egg shells she's been forced to walk on for all these years

She pretends they’re slippers and is waiting for Prince Charming or the next best thing brave enough to rescue her from the tower she's built in her spine

The only thing keeping her standing upright through this sorrow

 

You see, all her life she's been drowning in the moat that surrounds her

From placenta to the liquids constantly filling her father's throat

Your name is one of the few things she has learned to stomach

 

Know that, when you leave you will be inherently perpetuating the belief she has that nothing ever can hold on to her like daddy does his drinks, not even daddy

 

Cold showers & coffee can't sober her

You see, the drunk’s daughter doesn't know she has a problem

 

& You, you have become her latest vice

 

Drunks don't teach restraint very well so all she knows is excess of emotions, excess of emotions, excess of emotions

 

She wasn't a believer in love until she met you

 

She figures if you can hold a bloody fistful of her brokenness in one hand and still  find the strength to crack a smile

There must be a God

 

She drinks to cry & cries at the fact she drinks

Red Wine bottle mouth smiles open wide, so you can see her teeth

She lets you inside

the first time she says  she says I love you

It sounds like shattered Hennessy glass bottles  and piano key symphonies

 

She has begun to gulp you down before even knowing you're in her grasp

 

& she , she's going to try to hold you like a counter covered in empty beer bottles

Give you support, uplifting nothingness in place until it can be disposed of or recycled

in the next relationship

but you know nothing of this yet

 

Now you think

 

She's going to quench your cotton mouth thirst with all the words left unsaid in your last relationship

 

Eventfully you will flip open her inhibitions like a cans tab

 

& pray you won’t fizzle

 

The drunk’s daughter will be hesitant to believe your promises; she’s used to waiting until last call only to encounter disappointment

 

But you will prove yourself because this, this is one of the greatest pursuits you have gone through and it's anything but trivial

 

Getting to know her is like a drinking game;  you take turns, shot after shot

You play Never Have You Ever to find out what she likes

 

There is an unsolved mystery behind her eyes you are attracted to

You have no idea what you are getting into but then again that's the draw

so, you pluck another card

trying to breathe life into this circle of death

The first times you kiss something's not right, but you figure it’s like unscrewing a bottle and eventually you will get it off

 

We hit it off

Ran into each other like old friends in a bar and struck up a conversation like a match

 

Flaming shots, we took each other back

Figured we might be each other’s reborn Phoenixes or maybe a fire to keep warm by while healing up for the next 

 

When she approached me with the initial hello I was so taken aback as if there had to be whiskey on her

Breath of lies

Starting over with her was such a new sobering beginning or so it seemed sharing laughs over first drinks

We meet & greet

& I hoped to never say goodbye 

& I still don’t know if this is a poem about the last woman I loved

Or how alcohol has become my latest mistress

& I can’t seem to give her up

 

Excerpt from Of Mics & Pens & Gods & Other College Courses

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You can purchase Mariah’s poetry book ‘Of Mics & Pens & Gods & Other College Courses’ here . You can also follow her on Instagram @beyondyourdefinition

"United States, Divided System": A Poem by Raquel Spencer

"United States, Divided System": A Poem by Raquel Spencer