5 Online Resources for New Bois on the Block
I recently came out as a trans masculine person. Within the last few years I have made it known that I don't wish to identify as she/her, I do not wish to keep my breasts and I will no longer use my birth name. This was not easy and continues to have its own challenges on a daily basis. If you have recently made this decision, you are not alone.
The journey to accepting my masculine identity has led down many roads. The first was affirming myself as a man, in a world that had previously seen me as other identities. I wanted to differentiate myself from this public persona and reinvent myself.
This has been a monumental decision for me. If you are a new boi to the Trans Masculine life, you can probably relate. Even with all my best intentions and efforts it has still been an uphill battle for me to find resources, information and even friends. Thankfully you won't have to do so much, because I am providing you with of all the best resources I can find for bois like myself. Here are five places of interest to get you started on your journey (or just fill in the gaps if you are missing a few pieces.)
1. Use your Instagram.
Yes, yes your selfie game is strong, but that's not all the gram is good for! I decided to use my Instagram account to find people like myself. For a very broad search I started with the #ftm hashtag. While there are many people under this tag, I found one man in particular to be full of good vibes and unabashed in his experience.
Find and connect with Hurley Scott (@hurley.lives) Hurley is vibrant, delightful and most of all, honest about his growing pains and gains of becoming who he is today. You can also find his collection of positive quotes on IG @hurleys.positivity
2. Accept Yourself.
Let's face it; living as a trans masculine person can be lonely in it's own right. You are the "other". Finding gender acceptance is a totally different world than finding sexuality acceptance (though the roads may intersect at times). I used Google to affirm my sense of self simply by searching FtM (female to male). I came across a useful guide from Hudson's FTM Resource Guide. This is stocked with tips on clothing, presentation, hormones and important things like "Selective Service for the FtM Individual".
3. Question Everything.
In searching for myself I have learned that there is no specific way to identify as man. The term actually varies through age, background, race and class. So I would say be gentle in your own definition of yourself. You don't have to become whatever society has told you being a man is. I have also learned that there is no time limit. Please don't think you have to have a specific thing; such as testosterone hormones or hair growth or even any surgery at any specific time. Lack of these things do not make you any less of a man. You can still be a boi without hormonal or surgical procedures. One resource that has greatly answered many of my questions is the American Psychological Association. They have a pamphlet that helped my anxiety that included questions such as "Why are some people transgender?" and "Is Being Transgender a Mental Disorder?" (Spoiler alert: it’s not!)
4 . Ask for Help.
If you choose to use doctors and medical transition, it is time consuming to find them all and sort out insurance information. Fortunately, there are people that can do that for you. Looking through several options I have found Trans In Color to be one of the most comprehensive. This company can match you with the providers you need, help on legal name/ gender change. The company's founder known as, Danni, found some frustrations along the way with his personal transition so he aims to ease the frustrations of others. Find them on IG (@trans_in_color) and online transincolor.com Also available are life coach and T-buddy services.
5. Find your Fit.
Please remember that there are all types of communities with ideas and theories. Look through all of them that are available to you. Some popular communities include melenated trans men, femme trans men and naturally transitioning men (not using Hormone Replacement Therapy). I choose to borrow what I like from each community. I use only what serves my personal aesthetic.
Two empowering black trans men include Tashawn Lovemore and Sir Knight, run a virtual and real life powerhouse of support. Find them on IG and YouTube @blacktranstv. Every week they host a video featuring a wide range of topics which previously have included identity, supporting trans women and transgender health. They also include lots of job resources and chest binder giveaways. If you still haven't gotten enough, this dream team sends out a monthly newsletter by email to encourage the bois with affirmations, poetry and events. Send an email to Blacktranstelevision@gmail.com to secure your copy.
Relatively speaking this list is not a comprehensive list. When you can't find a resource or space, create one. I did! I created my own space, known on Instagram as "Comm-YOU-nity space " (@tyler.n.training) which allows myself and other trans people to communicate, answer questions and share laughs. Comm-YOU-nity space started as my personal journal, which I opened up to the world. It is a place of open engagement especially for hard to discuss topics like mental health disorders, physical ailments not related to transitioning and family follies. It has been a great way to affirm myself and build up the esteem of others. We are all there to cheer each other on through the ups and downs of life.
Finding you, becoming yourself and embracing your inner hero takes time and bravery. There is a community for you. You are valid. Your existence matters. Welcome to the world new man!