Boo’d Up is a celebration of love! Each entry will feature QWOC, non-binary and transgender people of color sharing their love with the rest of us. I hope that these entries will give you as many feels reading about the couples as I got from interviewing them. In a society that often overlooks us, here we share a bit of ourselves at our softest and most vulnerable… in love.
I’m happy to introduce our second couple, Sime and Monick Monell! This hard working, community changing, aspirational couple admit they lead pretty separate lives but always come back to one another. I connected with Monick on social media through a shared passion of serving LGBTQ older adults. Chatting with Monick and Sime and learning more about their passions for community was wonderful and inspiring. Equally as inspiring was learning about their love and passion for each other.
Tell us about yourselves:
Sime: I’m 35, originally from Philly and I currently work as a nurse at an LGBTQ based clinic. I love living in NYC. Aspiration- gain my masters degree and become a health care provider. And also to learn more about HIV.
Monick: I’m 39. I work as a direct care worker with the LGBTQ community, mostly with elders. Looking towards working with the youth as well. I stay engaged in the queer community through magazines, clothing, organization, groups, really anything. Community is important.
How did you two meet?
Monick: Oh lord!
Sime: We met through an LGBT group chat on Facebook. Monick and her friends made the group. I was just there as a bored young lesbian with nothing else to do, and I wanted to meet other people like myself. When we met it was just about being friends.
M: Her icon was a dog. I didn’t see her face or who she was. I was drawn in by her words. They were so intelligent. I knew I just wanted to meet this person. It was like I wasn’t supposed to see who she was. I was already into her just based on her words.
S: The friendship didn’t work out. We failed successfully at that!
M: We we met she parked really far away.
S: I’m from Philly! You ain’t gonna catch me like that!
M: When I first saw her, I thought she was just so gorgeous. I just took her hand and kissed it.
S: And I was like who are you? What do you want? What are you doing?
What was your first impression of each other?
Sime: I thought she was the littlest pervert I had ever met! She was so little and sneaky! I was like oh hell no! What is this going on ma’am? No ma’am! We met up a week later on a real date. I did not eat a single thing! I was insecure about my thickness. So we had cocktails and Monick said her friends were having a house party. So we went there and had a few more cocktails. I was wearing spiky stilettos in wet grass, and I almost fell and this woman reached for me to make sure I was safe! That said something to me. Most people are concerned with image. And she was genuinely concerned about my well-being. She didn’t make me feel bad about it. She just kept going. And that struck me more. I figured I should get to know this woman better. And that started my journey to getting to know her.
How long have you been together?
Monick: I always feel no matter what number you give people they always have a say on how long love is supposed to be real! So I give everyone no answer. We celebrate our love on our anniversary and just appreciate we are still alive and together.
Sime: I just say many moons. Many many moons.
Who said ‘I love you’ first?
Sime: That’s me! It was solicited though! She kept begging me to tell her how I really feel. She kept asking me if I loved her. I wasn’t gonna say nothing! That’s my business and my business only. So finally she kept asking and I told her! Then she took a week to tell me that she loved me back. A week! She kept requesting to hear it from me, everyday, but took a week to say it back!
When did you know you were in love?
Sime: That came years later. I think that people make the mistake of thinking that just because you love someone, you are in love with someone. It took time, tests and tribulations for me to truly realize why I was in love with her. I had to learn what it meant to truly be with this woman and what would happen if I lost her. Could I move on without this woman? I had to really come to a conclusion with myself of what it meant if she wasn’t here with me. I had to come to this fear and realize this heartache that would come with her departure. Would my days be the same? What means completion to me? I don’t want to know a morning without kissing her goodbye. I don’t want to lay down one evening without seeing her. I don’t think I can be complete without her. I had to realize I was in love and not just in like with her.
Monick: I met her and then a week later I gave her a key to my house. So she knew she could come over anytime.
S: It scared the shit out of me! I was like I got a place!
M: I was talking to other people and I had to let them all know that I was with someone. I wanted to take a chance. In life you take chances! And I love this woman. I love her like crazy!
Who takes longer to get ready?
Sime: That’s me! (laughter) I got to put on the perfect eyebrow! I have to figure out if I want a beat face or not. Usually I don’t. I like to show the natural power of melanin! We were born glistening! I will sit in the mirror working on this eyebrow though! I try on a thousand outfits, ask Monick what she thinks and then not pick the one she likes best! I need to make this full body work! I don’t wanna hide it. I wanna show off this masterpiece! She has always loved me and loved my curves, so she hates when I go on little diets. She always tries to feed me. She is also my biggest cheerleader.
Who is the better cook?
Sime: Well it depends. I’m the better cook as far as different styles of cooking. But her wings are amazing! And her rice. And her salmon.
Monick: That’s how I got her!
S: You do great seafood. But I cook different types of food, different cultures.
M: I was in love with her when she used chopsticks at her place. She’s always willing to try new foods.
Who is your partner’s biggest celebrity crush?
Sime: I look as celebrities as people with good jobs. They are just people. They may have better jobs, but they aren’t more special. I don’t care! I’m tired! I work saving lives all day!
Monick: She doesn’t have one.
S: I like animals! Give me a dog. A pomeranian. A spidermonkey or a meerkat.
M: I don’t have one because what I am looking for is my wife.
S: We know that other people look good. But you won’t catch me asking people for a picture or an autograph.
M: They are just humans with their own talents.
What is the best date you’ve been on together?
Monick: I’m gonna say my birthday.
Sime: Aww you liked it for real? I was so scared of that! I took her on a cruise! It was a surprise! She hadn’t been on a cruise before. She was worried that being stuck on a boat together for a while would change how we saw each other. I got us a nice suite. They decorated the room with cake and balloons. It was nice! For me the best date was when Monick took me to Coney Island. She showed me her childhood. I saw the old rides. I got a look into Monick, who she is where she comes from. She allowed me to see a lot of where she comes from and that feels amazing.
What is one of your pet peeves about each other?
Sime: I’m jealous of her natural eyelashes! I paid good money for my lashes. She grew out these good ones! I get irritated! And her hair! She has good hair!
Monick: I work a lot. My wife works a lot. When we met we talked about this. And some days I just want us to go home and she is working extra.
S: She gets hot when I am working extra!
M: But I still love you!
S: I love what I do and who I work for!
What is the best quality about each other?
Monick: For me it’s her voice, her words. Being with this woman has helped me grow. Not just mentally, but in love and more.
Sime: Her heart. She has the most amazing and forgiving heart. She has taught me how to love and what it is to truly love. She makes me want to be better. She will literally give you the shirt off her back. She brings you in and she trusts you. She just believes in people.
If you could choose just three words to describe each other what would they be?
Monick: Trust, blessing, beautiful
Sime: You love me! I will say- loving, passionate, and charismatic
What makes your love unique?
Sime: This is a unique love because I’ve never experienced love on this level. I’ve never offered my heart and meant it.
Monick: We are with each other because we want to be with each other. We find greatness in each other. No matter what we go through, we figure it out together. We grow with that.
S: You make me want to grow.
M: We talk to each other. That’s why we grow. We live fairly opposite lives. I’m out at different functions. We have different groups of friends. I’m at events and functions a lot.
S: I like to chill at home.
M: I will go to events and talk to everyone but she doesn’t always want to.
S: I am either trying to get home or get to work.
Do you have any advice for other queer woman and non-binary POC looking for love?
Sime: Be patient. Be patient with yourself and with others. Don’t expect anything. We often make this list of must haves. Take that list and throw it in the trash. Let life take you where it’s gonna take you. Go with the flow. We all have this list but we have to be open to something else. We miss things because we ware not open to new experiences. Allow yourself to feel and be. Just live.
Where do you see yourselves in the future? In life and love?
Sime: I would love to retire somewhere that is safe for us. I’m not sure that is the U.S. right now. Somewhere safe for us as lesbians. We want to live our lives. In love, this is it! We will be together.
Monick: [I see s with] less animals! But we’ll probably just get more! We love them!
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