Hey Girl Hey! 

I'm Javonne Crumby, creator of Lesbionyx-- A space for queer women of color. As a Black woman who loves women, I grew tired of the lack of representation and resources for women like me. So I created a platform for us and by us, because no one tells our stories like us! 

Top 5 Reasons Being Single is LIT!

Top 5 Reasons Being Single is LIT!

We're conditioned to believe that being single means something is wrong with us, or we aren't desirable. It can be especially hard during the Holibae Season A.K.A. "cuffing season". But don't get it twisted sis, being single is a blessing! So I made a list of the Top 5 Reasons Being Single is Lit! 


1) You Have More Time to Accomplish Your Goals

I think sometimes us single ladies can take that for granted. We've all been on both sides and you know being in a relationship can easily divert your attention from getting shit done. I know plenty of people in relationships that complain they don't have enough time to themselves. I also know a handful of single women who want to share their time with somebody else. Listen, the grass is always going to look greener on the other side. While you're on #TeamSingle make the most of your free time to work on yourself! I've mentioned this before. Work on you! I know it sounds cliche but not having someone to distract you from your goals makes you hold yourself accountable when you don't take the steps to accomplish them. Think back to all the times you put off studying, going to the gym, or working on a personal project because you just had to spend more time with your boo. Being, single takes one less thing from your 'To Do' list and gives you more time to be a boss!

2) You Don't Have To Consult With Anyone Else 

"What do you want to eat?" "what movie should we go see?" "who are you going out with?" Those are just a few scenarios relationships entail. Constantly having to weigh in and see what our partners want. It's not necessarily a bad thing, of course we want to consider our partners wants and needs. Being single however, you call the shots 100% of the time! No need to compromise on where to eat, what movie to watch, who you hang out with or what time you'll be home! Don't take for granted your freedom to make your own decisions without consulting with a partner first. #Independent 

3) You Can Flirt (and Hook Up) Guilt-Free**!

There is no greater feeling than knowing you can flirt shamelessly (and hook-up) with someone and feel zero guilt! If you were in a monogamous relationship that shit wouldn't fly (understandable). As a single woman, if you want to approach someone on some "i'm digging ya vibes" type shit, go for it! If you're out at the bar and striking up good conversation with a cutie, get her number! The best part about it all? No need to hide numbers (or photos) in your phone. 

** You should feel guilty if you are dealing with someone who is in a relationship. Respect others relationships and move on. It's also good to be upfront about "talking" to other people, so everyone involved is on the same page.


4) You Don't Have To Be So "Well-Groomed" All The Time!

Photo Credit:  Adios Barbie

Photo Credit: Adios Barbie

Pause, before you say "girl, what?!" Let me explain *Kevin Hart voice.* There tends to be a lot of pressure on women to be well-groomed, meaning shaven or waxed. Women with body hair are generally frowned upon or seen as gross, and it sucks! Unfortunately because of beauty standards (and marketing) we have been wired to be turned-off by women with body hair. So being in a relationship, we tend to put more effort into making sure we have our legs, pits, and lady bits follicle-free. Well guess what single lady? You don't have to worry about that! Especially during these colder months, when nobody is going to see those hairy gams anyway! You can go days, weeks, (even months if you're feeling free out here), without grooming and it'll be your little secret! Now obviously, if you feel more confident with little to no body hair, do you! Whatever you choose it is empowering to reclaim your body and remind yourself that your body is yours and yours only.

5) You Get to Stack Up That Coin! 

I don't care what anyone says, being in a relationship can be costly! Going out to eat, going to the movies, furniture shopping (for the U-Haulers) all that adds up! Especially during the holiday season when gift giving is expected. "But doesn't being single cost more, since no one is treating you to anything?" Yes... and no. Yes, you have to pay for your meal, and your movie ticket, but being in a relationship you are sometimes (if not always) expected to pay for your partner too. Being single, you never have to pay double. "What about the cost of living?" Listen, paying rent by yourself can be burdensome. Sometimes we need financial help, and that's totally ok! This is where stacking up comes into play. You can just as easily split your cost of living by having a roommate. People romanticize living with a partner but it's not so romantic when you two are fighting and someone has to sleep on the couch. Living with a roommate you have the peace of mind knowing you can sleep in your bed regardless of any petty fight. Being single also leaves you with one less person to shop for during the holidays, and if you're anything like me, your partner is the hardest person to shop for. Save your money honey, your wallet will thank you!


 Want to add to the list of singlehood litness? Drop a comment below! 



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